Welcome back, readers.
I write today with news of … Dr. Typhon Garlic’s carrier birdy!
Well, news from the carrier birdy.
Well, actually, news from Dr. Garlic, who sent the carrier birdy. 🙂
Now that I’ve gotten that all straightened out, let the news begin!
Now, up till now, you may have wondered how Dr. Garlic is able to get his journal entries, maps, and whatnot to me. If you read my last post, you may have gotten the beginnings of an idea as to the method we use.
In the Aether (which Dr. Garlic is traveling through), there is no reliable mail service. Because of this, many a person has opted to use hand-carried mail instead. Unfortunately, hand-carried mail is rather expensive, so Dr. Garlic came with an alternative method of transporting his letters. You may by now have an idea of what I’m getting at by now. Typhon uses wing-carried mail — or in other words, a carrier birdy!
This time, the carrier birdy ran into multiple difficulties, and he ended up needing to hire a mighty boar to transport him out of the Aether.
Now that I’ve explained all that, here’s the news for today!
Dr. Typhon Garlic decided he needed some more useful clothes — and just in time, too: he happened to find a clothing shop that same day!
Someone once told me that pockets exist to put stuff in. That mindset is mostly what motivated Dr. Garlic to get himself a dearly-needed fresh set of clothes. They don’t look all that different (see his original outfit) from the first ones, but they come with some very cool and important improvements:
More pockets — Vital to any explorer’s continued existence, pockets are a great way to hold your belongings! More pockets means the ability to carry extra stuff. B)
Armor — Susceptible to mummy attacks? Not when you’ve got armor! This brand-new alloy combines lightweight metals and super-strong ones to create a powerful means of protection.
Fun — Basically guaranteed!* New stuff is always* fun! We promise* it’ll give you many hours of fun fun fun!
*(Disclaimer: There are no guarantees that new stuff will always be fun. The above are provided without any warranty or guarantee of any kind.)
Well, yeah, I pretty much wrote what the new clothes people told Dr. Garlic. Not too fun, huh?
Here is Typhon’s fabulous journal entry:
I have gotten a really cool upgraded outfit. Yippee! I even got some great armor with it all.
Those “Clothingporium” people were sorta strange, though. They kept going on about fun and guarantees and other such nonsense. My guess is that they wished to avoid any type of lawsuit, but in my opinion, when you’re shouting legal mishmash in your customers’ faces (not to mention their overuse of megaphones to help blast the message home), you may be going a bit too far.
That’s all for today, stay tuned for more Dr. Garlic-related news. Thanks for reading and be sure to leave your comments below!