Dr. Garlic Escapes from the Snake Kings


Finally some more news from Dr. Garlic! Him, Sven, and Corin were ambushed, kidnapped, and robbed by a band of burglar dractyls who called themselves “The Snake Kings”.

In case you’re wondering what a dractyl is, check out this picture below!

A dractyl!
A dractyl!

Pretty scary, right?

Well he’s nothing compared to their ferocious leader. Here’s Dr. Garlic’s journal entry detailing the experience:

Ambushed by the Snake Kings.
Ambushed by the Snake Kings.


About three months ago, Sven, Corin, and I were captured by a band of angry snake people! We were simply walking along when this gang of snake men, or dractyls, attacked us.

They called themselves “The Snake Kings”, but most of the ragtag band looked far from it. One of them, however, was tall, dark, and intimidating. With coal-black garments that matched his personality perfectly, it was clear he was the leader of the Snake Kings.

He acted like it, too. This venomous dractyl wasn’t the petty boss-you-around type–he meant business.

He had our hands and feet chained, and made us walk very far for several days. On the fifth night, Sven told Corin and I that he’d managed to pick up a nail from the ground while our guards weren’t watching. He was in the process of breaking the shackles binding his feet, and he had finished just as the sun began to rise.

Unfortunately, one of the guards saw him and sounded the alarm! Knowing there was no time, Corin made Sven run away without us. Sven did escape, because he stole the Snake Kings’ very disloyal horse, and the dractyls were unable to catch him. “I’ll find help!” he shouted as he sped away.

This made the leader exceptionally angry, and he ordered that Corin and I have our arms tied down with ropes. As you might imagine, this grew old very soon. With my hands tied down, my face quickly became quite well-acquainted with the ground over those next few days. Call me a klutz, but I could not stop tripping over evil tree roots!

Imprisoned by the Snake Kings.
Imprisoned by the Snake Kings.

The Snake Kings finally brought us to their hideout, first making sure that Corin and I were out cold (with a little help from their “night-night stick”). When we came to, Corin and I found ourselves in a dark, crumbly prison cell.

It became clear there we were not going to be escaping on our own. The guards were just too well organized, and Corin’s beard was just too wild. It regularly stole part of his prison rations for itself. How greedy!

Several months passed, and we lost hope that Sven would ever find us. Worse, no one had responded to the dractyls’ evil ransom, and the Snake Kings began debating whether to keep us for entertainment, or to just feed us to a nearby dragon and be done with us.

It’s not hard to guess which we preferred, but unfortunately the second option seemed more and more likely.

Then, two days ago, our rations were cut off completely. Corin and I went absolutely ballistic. This was the end. We were going to be dragon feed. (Either that or the Snake Kings were enjoying a very demented practical joke.)

Last night we were crying our eyes out and singing sad Dwarven songs so loudly that the sleeping dractyls had to cover their ears to get any semblance of quiet. Around dawn there was a sudden click from the lock on our door, making Corin yelp in fright.

“Shhhh!” came a harsh whisper. It was Sven! “We’re here to save you!”

“Who’s ‘we’?” Corin questioned.

“No time to explain. Corin, your axe. Typhon, take this club from the Snake Kings’ weapon stash. I’ll leave the door unlocked; attack when I give the signal!” And with that he closed the door, moving away.

“Wait!” I whispered as loudly as I dared. “What is the signal?” But Sven was already gone.

Typhon makes for the gunpowder.
Typhon makes for the gunpowder.

I inspected the club Sven had given me, when suddenly I realized it was no club at all, but instead an old front-loading rifle!

Though it was not loaded, I remembered then a small bag of black powder near our cell. If this gun had been from the Snake Kings’ weapon stash, then that had to be gunpowder! I quickly decided that when Sven gave the signal, I would make for the gunpowder.

Then as dawn approached, Corin said, “Listen!” and there it was: the hooting of an owl — the signal!

We burst out of our cell. I made for the powder, and Corin attacked our not-so-observant guard. The guard cried out, and the other Snake Kings were alerted. But why wasn’t Sven attacking yet? Then it hit me: the hooting owl was not the signal.

The Crimson Warrior and Sven.
The Crimson Warrior’s entrance.

It was too late by then, however, and a surprised Sven quickly jumped out of the shadows and, along with a human I later learned was called the Crimson Warrior, began attacking the snakes.

I poured an inadvisable amount of gunpowder down the barrel of my rifle, loaded it with a bunch of pebbles off the ground, and quickly fired it at the stone ceiling.

“Magic!” the snakes screamed. Some dropped to the floor, while others ran in circles, shouting and covering their ears with their hands. Even the leader looked rattled (no pun intended).


The Crimson Warrior used this opportunity to tie up several of the dractyls and soon the Snake Kings were imprisoned in the very cell Corin and I had been kept in. Needless to say, it was not exactly a luxury hotel.

Other than the lost time, being captured wasn’t really that much of an inconvenience. We should reach the thing that should never have been given a lemon lollipop within about ten days, so things are looking up.

Surprisingly, the Ironthread brothers and I found that our treasure chest had remained nearly untouched for the duration of our imprisonment, which leads me to wonder: why did the Snake Kings capture us in the first place?

Well, that whole being captured business was definitely a setback, but at least no harm came to Typhon and the Ironthread brothers. And I’m really liking Typhon’s new outfit!

I guess I’ll report back in ten days time, see ya’ll then!

One thought on “Dr. Garlic Escapes from the Snake Kings

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.