Okay, well this is bordering on completely ridiculous, but here’s the latest Suzanne.

Announcing the great … well, maybe mediocre … or maybe even lousy … Scruffy Bearded Suzanne! Hooray! Ain’t ya excited? I bet you simply cannot wait to see this lovely, great, and lousy bearded wonder. What do you mean, I owe you ten bucks? Do you mean to say you could actually wait to see her?

Well, I’m sure she is very insulted by your rude insinuations. You could at least pretend to be excited. There, that’s more like it! And here she is:

The very picture of health and prosperity, wouldn’t you say? Oh. You wouldn’t? Huh. Well, that crazed look in ‘er eye sure fooled me. Here I was thinking this Suzanne was healthy and all, then you came along and spoiled the beans. How would you like to be made fun of just because of an unfortunate incident with a can of hair un-balder? Huh? Huh? The silent treatment, is it? Um … I don’t how to deal with the silent treatment. Humph. 😡

Well, enjoy the rest of your time at my blog, I guess. Gurdbye from Peter, the hairless slob. Wait a minute, I’m not a hairless slob! No, don’t publish! My readers are going to think lowly of me! WAIT!