Dr. Garlic and the Dark Lands


Welcome back, folks!

As you may have noticed, it has been quite some time since the last update from the intrepid Dr. Typhon Garlic. That is because, as you will soon learn in much more detail, he was detained by some rather nasty … um … people? (They weren’t exactly people, but that can sort of be a general term, I suppose.)

Anyway, he was just mindin’ his own business, going for a nice wandering stroll through the desert, when suddenly the rather nasty people I mentioned earlier leapt upon him, subdued him and took him away! The next thing he knew, he was cramped inside an intolerably small cell.

He was trapped there for nearly a month before he was rescued, and he had to recover for several days before he could write me.


Well, I’ve just been rescued from the “Emperor of the Dark Lands.” The only problem is that none of my rescuers saw him, or any of his hideous minions, so they didn’t believe me.

When they found out people were on their way to rescue me, the vile Emperor ordered his minions to relocate. Since they didn’t have enough time, or any good reasons to bring me along, they dropped a giant rock slab on me to make it look like I’d been the victim of a collapsing cave.

They did not take me along because they had already interrogated me many times and discovered that I knew far less about Convergence Point than they did and they eventually gave up. Because they arranged everything so perfectly, none of my rescuers believed me. At least Dan wasn’t one of them. (He had a Skype meeting with his boss around the time the others decided to check up on me.)

Returning from the Dark Lands.
Returning from the Dark Lands.

The worst part was Quarrelsome Bert telling me the whole ride back how foolish of me it was to venture into the cave alone. Although I wanted to shout that I didn’t even enter the cave of my own free will, I didn’t want to encourage his quarrelsome-ness.

The one thing I was able to find that might even come close to proving my story was a slab of metal, which I’ve sent to Peter. I don’t know; maybe he’ll know what to do with it?

I sent this slab of metal (which was actually a completely melted hard drive) to our good friend, the Computer Programmer. Amazingly, he was able to retrieve the following (partially damaged) picture from it!

Dr. Garlic and the Emperor of the Dark Lands! :eek:
Dr. Garlic and the Emperor of the Dark Lands! 😮
Wandering, capturing, and rescuing...
Wandering, capturing, and rescuing…

Very very interesting, no?

Anyway, as you can see, the totally required map from Dr. Garlic is in its good old location. The arrows are supposed to represent him riding on horseback to Convergence Point, I believe.

Thanks for reading! Before I end this post, I’d just like to mention that I’ve replaced the default WordPress smileys with ones from Mozilla Thunderbird! 🙂 I think they’re much cooler than the originals, don’t you? 😎

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